Etiquette ist in!
Of course, you'd like to make a good impression at your university, with your landlord or landlady, as well as among your new friends. If you're feeling a bit uncertain about how to behave properly in certain situations, we've got a few useful tips for you. |
| Hände schütteln zur Begrüßung, Bild: Britta Simon.jpg |
The German guide to etiquette is called "Knigge" after Baron Adolph Franz Friedrich Ludwig Knigge, and its rules are always immediately recognisable for outsiders. This is why it is helpful to spend a bit of time reading about them.
Proper behaviour opens doors
"Manners are an integral part of the culture in every country. They are not rigid rules, but rather mirror how humans behave amongst each other," says Andreas Weinzierl, who has been working as an independent Knigge adviser and image trainer for many years. So, is Knigge in? "In our country, manners have changed as a result of social change." What this means for us is that if everybody were to bow to each other as a form of greeting, or were to kiss a lady's hand as a ritual sign of greeting and respect, their counterpart would be quite irritated. A hundred years ago, however, this was quite a different matter.According to Weinzierl, the most important characteristics are a friendly nature, respect, politeness and courtesy. Those who have them will find it quite easy to behave properly when a guest in Germany. If there's a misunderstanding, the expert has some advice at hand: "One should apologise briefly for the faux pas. Starting a grand debate about the 'incident' should be avoided at all costs. It's best to ask someone what the right behaviour would have been in this situation, and the matter will have been sorted for future reference."
Punctuality and general themes
To make sure that you don't put your foot in it (faux pas) in everyday life, we have compiled a short list with some of the most important Do's and Don'ts:Addressing somebody
+ Outside your circle of friends, the formal address is "Sie" for men and women. It is equivalent to vous in French, Usted in Spanish or Lei in Italian. You should generally use the formal form. Only students use the informal form "Du" when speaking to each other.- Combining the formal form of address (Sie) with the first name is unusual. The same applies for "Du" with the family name.
Welcoming
+ Welcome people by shaking their hands.- Embracing people or kissing them on the cheeks is, if at all, only common among close friends.
+ Direct eye contact is called for when conversing with others. Avoiding eye contact is soon considered to be impolite.
Conversing
+ Germans are generally a little more reserved and don't like talking about private matters. It's better to choose general topics at first, like your profession or studies.- Try to avoid topics like politics or religion. The question "How much money do you earn?" is also not commonly asked and is generally met with an evasive answer.
+ Be polite, but don't exaggerate. Too many compliments may seem too pushy.
Dates and appointments
+ Make sure you're on time! If you're late or can't make the appointment, advise your counterpart early enough and in person, or by phone.+ Everybody pays what they personally ate or drank. Inviting somebody, especially women, can quickly lead to misunderstandings.
Eating out
+ When eating out in a restaurant, a club, bar or pub, you can generally choose your own table+ Pay the bill directly to the waiter or waitress at the table. A tip is usual, but don't overdo it. Rounding up the sum is fine.
- Credit cards are very rarely accepted in Germany. It's better to have some cash on you, so that you don't end up having to wash the dishes.
You can find more detailed information and more rules at:
www.german-way.com
www.image-trainer.de
Source: study-in.de
